I keep thinking of Whitney Houston today. I saw her funeral yesterday.
I wonder why we wait until someone is dead to honour and celebrate them.
I sit here, in my little world, and allow myself to say... why write a blog about Whitney Houston? I didn't even know her.
Or did I?
When my father died back in the early 90's I saw her Movie 'The Body Guard" right after he died. It affected me so much that I came back to my childhood home and walked into my parents bedroom... looked in the mirror and just as I did that, the song "And I will always love you" came on the radio.
I'm telling you . . . it rippled through me in a way no song ever had. I looked into my eyes and began to weep falling to my knees in tears that rolled through my body passing through every crevice of me so I could feel the depth of my love for my father in a way I never had.
I cried and cried and cried until it turned to sobs that had me on my knees and lost in a world of love and expanded into everything it could be.
My heart broke open.
Her song and her voice, with it's undeniable passion helped me penetrate my soul. I crashed down and broke open. I cleansed my soul and purified my spirit. And the beacon of love inside of me shone so brightly it pierced through every crack in my body defying all that my mind thought it knew.
I never forgot that night.
Every time I hear that song, I love. I open and I navigate back to myself. And when the band comes in after her ac-cappella... my body shivers and I open more. Every time. And I fall into a gentle sway inside my self that soothes me. I feel loved, embraced. And when the words find their way inside my soul.... I open more. I expand into everything I am and my heart feels more than it thought it could in that moment. I feel happier and overcome.
So did I know her?
I knew the part of her that could hold a hand up to the Universe and channel something we can not understand. Yes, her voice was amazing, like the most beautiful Diva, but the depth she could feel and was willing to show us through her song, that would take over her body, that's what I heard most of all . . . her vulnerable purity and direct line to the heavens.
Did I know her?
Not personally. But I knew the place in her that sang from her soul. I knew the place in her that could embrace the Divine in all it's glory. I knew that place in her that could transform simply by taking her gifts and sharing them with who ever was blessed enough to hear it. That place where her passion absorbed every inch of her. That place that could transcend this earthly plane and take us with her and expose the greater picture of our world, our life, our selves.
Did I know her?
I know the place where we question our worth, whether we matter or will we be liked? All of us have that at some time or another. We just sit in the fantasy that it's only our story. No matter what kinds of things we can or can not do, or what we bring to the world. Yes, I know that place of human frailty. It is a delicate place, no matter who you are.
So Whitney . . . here is what I want to tell you...
I hear Kevin Costner talk of you at your funeral about how you didn't know the basic questions we all ask ourselves but expect great talents like you to know. We forget, you too are human and have the same journey as us... He said you had questions like we all have: Am I good enough? Will they like me? Do I matter?
Let me tell you now, dear Whitney... a woman you never knew, was touched by you at one of the most crucial times in her life, in a way that she has never forgotten.
Were you enough?
Oh my dear Whitney . . . far more than that for me.
Were you liked?
That never even crossed my mind.
Did you matter?
Oh Yes . . . You mattered more than you could ever know.
I thank you.
I thank you for singing, for bearing your heart, for allowing me to experience the kind of Grace through your song and through your voice that night, that allowed me into the sacred temple of my heart so that I could expand, the way your spirit expanded when you sang. I thank you for sharing your voice, your spirit, your power and your vulnerabilities, so that I may be further inspired to find mine.
I didn't know you in person, but you touched me. You touched me so deeply.
My thanks and with love,
P.S. I pulled a Wild Woman Mystery Card while writing this for Whitney. I got Wild Woman Brilliance. Oh, the perfection of it all. Here is an excerpt from Wild Woman Brilliance:
"Wild Woman Brilliance: The answer is not outward. It is in the depths of your Wild Woman Goddess, the place inside that shines like no other. . . It is important for you to know that to brilliantly shine is your birthright passage."
This place of Brilliance . . . This is the place Whitney took me that night long ago.
Go here to see what Wild Woman Mystery Card comes forward for you.
www.wildwomanenchanted.com © 2012 Elizabeth MacLeod.
Excerpt taken from the Wild Woman Mystery Cards by Elizabeth MacLeod.
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